Because ATTITUDE is the mirror of personality… (क्योंकि नज़रिया व्यक्तित्व का आईना होता है...)

Often you will come across two types of people – those who make you depressed because of their clumsiness or irritability and those who win your heart with their liveliness and generosity. Needless to say that we all want to see ourselves included in the second category. 

The hallmark of irritable people is that they are always complaining about something or the other. If someone cooks and feeds them with love, then they start counting the shortcomings in that food too. In fact, he complains about everything except himself. No two words of praise come out of his mouth even on the greatest merit. There is a practice of calling such people 'wretched' in common language and usually everyone wants to keep distance from them. 

On the other hand, the specialty of lively and cheerful people is that they find reasons to be happy even in the worst of circumstances. Even if someone feeds them half-cooked food, there would no wrinkle on their forehead. On the contrary, filled with happiness and gratitude, they say, "Wow, this is a new taste". Such people openly accept their shortcomings and do not skimp on praising others. There are many difficulties and deprivations in their life too, but they do not let their spontaneity and generosity weaken in front of them. 

If you want your reputation to be like the heroes of the society, then you have to make a very positive and lively personality; And since personality formation is a slow and lengthy process, serious efforts will have to be made for it from now on. You have to give up some of your old habits and adopt some new habits. 

1. First of all, if you have a habit of criticizing others unnecessarily, then you have to leave it. Unnecessary or pointless criticism means criticizing for the sake of criticism without suggesting any solution. In this regard, you must have heard a famous folk tale which is probably fabricated to show mirror to such persons. The legend goes that once a painter drew a picture and placed it on the crossroads and wrote on a note-book that those who think there is any deficiency in this picture, please sign it. Within no time the entire note-book was filled. Whoever saw that picture would have signed it. The poor painter became weary because he was considering his painting to be unique. Well, the next day he put that picture again in the same place and this time with paint and brushes. This time he wrote that please correct the mistakes in the picture that you recognized yesterday. Surprisingly, the whole day passed but not a single person dared to pick up the brush. The criticism that was being done by those who saw the picture in this story, it is called useless or unnecessary criticism. Such people often do not have the moral and creative courage to come up with new alternatives or suggest solutions. A poet has written beautifully about such people, "In whose eyes everyone's face was stained, he blushed a lot in front of the mirror."

2. The second effort we have to make is that whenever we evaluate someone, do it with a healthy perspective, keep positivity in it. The special thing about people with a healthy attitude is that they pay more attention to their strengths than the shortcomings of others. Before criticizing someone, they put themselves in that person's place and guess that if they themselves were in the same circumstances, would they themselves be able to behave as they are expecting from that person? This precaution is called "Putting oneself in someone's shoes" in an English phrase. Moreover, they not only point out the shortcomings but also suggest solutions. Their language is of encouragement, not of discouragement. 

3. One more thing, while evaluating someone, we should also keep in mind that the criteria on which and as mercilessly we criticize others, we should apply the same criteria to ourselves. This characteristic is called 'objectivity' which is seen in people of scientific nature. 

4. Apart from this, it should also be recognized that no person can be free from minor shortcomings and mistakes. The famous Greek thinker Cassius Longinus has said in great address that "Greatness, however great it may be, is not flawless; small holes remain in it." Therefore, one should not be intolerant on the small shortcomings of others and remember that such shortcomings are not less in us too. 

In such a situation, these lines of Sant Kabirdas give us the right advice - "Bura jo dekhan mai chala, bura na mileya koi. Jo dil khoja aapna, mujhse bura na koi."  (Which means, "I searched for the crooked, met not a single one. When searched myself, I found the crooked one")

** Overall, how much success and prestige a person gets in life is largely determined by his attitude. If we want to be known as a wonderful person in the society, then we have to make our attitude healthy. Creating such an attitude is difficult but not impossible. So, start to blame yourself on your mistakes from today itself, before anyone else starts blaming you or starts keeping distance from you due to your negativity without any interruption!!!