Because over or under CONFIDENCE is fatal... (क्योंकि ज़रूरत से कम या ज़्यादा आत्मविश्वास घातक होता है...)

You must have seen that some people do any work with full confidence. If you give them any challenge, they will happily accept it. They do not panic even in the most difficult situations. Such people are proud of the whole time. Some people even say that the history of the world is nothing but the story of a handful of people who believed in themselves. 

On the other hand, you may also have come across people who always seem to be suffering from a lack of self-confidence. They want that they should always follow the well-designed paths and there should be no place of any kind of risk in their life. The names of such people are not recorded in history. No one wants his personality to be such a devoid of self-confident.

In fact, self-confidence is related to the concept of 'self'. The concept of 'self' is an important topic of 'Psychology', which simply means what is the opinion of a person about himself? It is a simple rule that if a person's opinion about himself is very positive then he will be full of confidence and if his opinion about himself is not positive then he will suffer from lack of confidence. Therefore, to understand the level of confidence of any person, one should try to understand his 'Self-Concept' or 'Self-Image'.

1. The more important question is, how is the concept of 'self' of a person formed? In this regard, a famous sociologist Charles Horton Cooley has a very interesting statement – ​​"I am not who I think I am; I am not who you think I am; I am who I think you think I am". The simple meaning of this maze-like statement is that my image or perception of myself is not determined by what I think about myself. It's not even determined by what others think of me because I can't objectively know what someone else thinks of me. In my own eyes, my image is formed on the basis of how I see myself in the eyes of others. If I feel that most of the people respect me then my respect will also increase in my eyes and if I feel that most of the people do not give importance to me then gradually I will also start to consider myself unimportant and become a victim of low confidence.

2. There are two more concepts that need to be understood here called 'Significant Others' and 'Generalized Others'. These show how much a person contributes in creating a person's 'Self-Image'. It is worth noting that in the eyes of any person, all the concerned persons are not equally important. Some people are very special to him, in whose eyes he cannot bear to fall, to rise in whose eyes he is ready to put in all possible efforts. These individuals are called 'Significant Others'. On the other hand, there are many such people in our life whose opinion is not important to us. We don't care whether they think of us good or bad. These individuals are called 'Generalized others'. Needless to say, a person's confidence level is largely determined by the perception of 'Significant others' about him.

3. We should make two efforts continuously - 

(i) Firstly that we should not let our 'self-image' deteriorate so that over-confidence or low-confidence does not dominate us.

(ii) Secondly, whenever you see the person struggling with distorted 'self-image', make some efforts at your level so that that distortion is eliminated or reduced. 

---> Praise the underconfident person frequently so that seeing his respect in your eyes gives him confidence in himself.

---> And without hurting the overconfident person, make him feel a little bit of the challenges he has not yet faced and that is why he is flying in the air.

4. It is also important to maintain your confidence at the right level because without confidence no great work is possible. Just keep in mind that confidence should not be excessive. The solution for this is to occasionally meet people who are superior to you, keep reading biographies of some great people to get a sense of your smallness in comparison to their greatness. Sometimes you have to compare yourself to inferior people (without telling) so that you can have confidence in your abilities. It is also a good way that a person can write his diary honestly in which he can talk to himself comfortably - accept his weaknesses and can also reflect on his achievements.

** Also a small but important point is that a person's self-confidence is not equally divided in all areas. It is quite possible that a person who dominates a small group becomes a victim of panic in front of a large group 'or' a champion of a sport starts licking the dust in terms of understanding the world of Human-Relations. One should not be afraid to see someone full of confidence on a particular subject because in the area in which you have confidence, he may prove to be nervous in front of you.