Because the COURAGE to say 'NO' is also very important... (क्योंकि 'नहीं ' कहने का हौंसला भी बहुत ज़रूरी है...)

Have you ever noticed that most of the values ​​you were taught as a child teach you to be 'submissive', 'agree' and 'acceptable'; not to 'disagree' or 'rebel'? From parents to teachers, everyone has taught us that we should respect our elders and must obey their every command. While writing applications in schools, we have been writing 'Your obedient disciple' before our name at the end. 




It can also be easily seen that the children who quietly and faithfully obey everything from the parents at home and the teachers in the school, are considered to be the best children. This process of socialization gradually makes us a comfortable and cultivated part of the society. It is also true that due to the prevalence of such values, tensions and conflicts in the society remain under control to a great extent. But like every truth, there is another aspect to it which needs to be taken into account. That is, the process of learning such values ​​continuously creates some serious flaws in our personal and social life which are usually out of our sight. That is why many psychologists insist that one should maintain the spirit of saying 'no' somewhere to maintain his/her independent personality. It may be okay to say 'yes' in most situations in life, but in some situations saying 'no' or rebelling is a basic condition of living an authentic life. Famous psychologist Herbert Fensterheim's bestseller book 'Don't say YES when you want to say No' and Manuel J. Smith's book 'When I say No, I feel guilty' picks its theme around this point.



The question is, when and under what circumstances should we adopt the attitude of protest or rebellion? 




1. The first answer is - to protect our basic principles and self-respect! This means that if any person, group or system wants to deviate you from your basic values, then you should put your side clearly and firmly, free from calculation of profit and loss. For example, suppose two persons are committed to each other but belong to different religions. From the beginning of the relationship it was clear to both parties that their communities were different and that their relationship would not be easily accepted; But despite this, both of them had decided to move forward. Now if any one of them pressurizes the other person to change religion by citing his/her family or society, then this situation is for the other person to endanger of her/his principles and freedom. In such a situation, that person should take a solid stand bypassing all the pressures. And if there is no way out, then the relationship itself should be rejected. Maqbool poet Waseem Barelvi has given this advice for such delicate moments... 
'Where principles are in danger, there must be confrontation;
If you are alive, then there must be agitation.'




2. Another legitimate situation to rebel is when someone starts exploiting us. This exploitation can also happen under the force of power. Also known as 'Blackmailing' or 'Emotional Blackmailing'. For example, if a friend or loved one takes advantage of your emotional weaknesses and asks you to do something wrong, then it is 'emotional blackmailing'. It has been seen in many cases that nowadays many girls come under this pressure and share their private or intimate photos to their male friend from WhatsApp or Messenger and later become a victim of blackmailing. If a person wants to extort money (or anything else) from someone by pressurizing them to make their personal letters, photos or other information public, then it is a case of blackmailing. Always keep in mind that the demands of such persons never end. So it is very important to have the courage to say 'no' in the beginning. A similar incident happened to American comedian Ms. Whitney Cummings some time ago. An unknown man hacked a half-naked picture of her from somewhere and sent her a message demanding money in return for not making that photo public. Taking an original stand, Whitney Cummings herself shared that picture on Twitter with the message that it is better to make it public myself than to be blackmailed at the hands of someone. Millions of people on Twitter praised her courage and she became an example for millions of women who are bound to go through such situations at some point or the other. 



3. Small rebellion is also necessary where your own family members are supporting some wrong act or mentality. For example, if a daughter-in-law of your own family is facing inhuman treatment in the name of dowry, then you should raise your voice in her favor. 

4. If a child's dark complexion or disability is being ridiculed, then you should take a stand. You should try your best to explain politely (but firmly) to your seniors; But if that path does not yield results, then it is also necessary to show some heat (anger). 


** Overall , the sense is that peace is very important in everyone's life and generally one should follow the path of humility, harmony or tolerance; but when principles, self-respect or dignity are in danger, one should not hold back from revolting!!!

Location: Alwar, Rajasthan, India

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